Between people, give and take is the best state. Know how to fulfill others, in fact, in the achievement of their own.
In many cases, working together is better than working alone.
If you blindly haggle over every ounce and hurt others, you will gradually lose your boundaries and let the relationship between you go further and further.
Like the popular trending topic on Weibo before: "What jokes have you been hurt by?"
Many shared their own stories, and one of them gave a sympathetic answer:
"Jokes are the spice of a boring life.
When chatting with others, it is inevitable to make some jokes to defuse the awkwardness and lighten the serious atmosphere.
But not everyone likes these jokes, and sometimes they come off the cuff and can be really hurtful.
To be able to take a joke is not a basic accomplishment, not to make fun of others is."
With people, humor is icing on the cake, rather than alienating them and making them strangers.
A long-term relationship is not to denigrate, but to realize each other and achieve each other.
Respect and understand differences
I have read such a story:
A reporter interviewed a centenarian who lived alone in the countryside, and found that she had a unique little habit: she never used salt in her dishes and soups.
When having a meal with the reporter, he put salt alone in a small dish for him to dip in.
Such behavior, neither indulge others, nor wronged yourself.
The same is true between people.
Everyone grows environment is different, thinking mode, individual be fond of is different also, if think oneself be fond of is right only, rather some too too one-sided.
Confucius said, "The superior man is in harmony but in difference."
A long-term relationship should be tolerant of each other. I stick to my preferences and respect your differences.
Just as there are no same two leaves in this world, there must be differences between people.
Do not force each other to correct, respect each other, is the best criteria for communicating with people.
Stand-up actor Li Dan was hit by criticism from netizens when he appeared on the variety show Wild Kitchen.
During the meal, Li Dan volunteered that he felt like sand on the side when he was eating sauteed crab.
Wang Han, the host, sensed his depression and immediately replied, "Without sand in the sea, even if it were a beach, the beauty of the sea would be reduced by half."
Li Dan still feels bad about it:
"Crabs taste better without the sand, just like leaving the show on their own, they look better."
After hearing this, all the guests looked at each other in speechless despair and did not know how to reply.
On the contrary, Wang Han took the initiative to say:
"Sand in your eyes can be uncomfortable, but when you get it out, it's often with tears.
Yuki is an adult and we have to respect the decisions she makes."
A cultured person does not force others to indoctrinate their own views, do not one-sided to measure others right and wrong, do not use their own standards to judge others right and wrong.
The wider your horizons, the more you respect the "difference" of others. Only in this way can we get along with each other more harmoniously.
As Kant once said:
"I respect any independent soul. There are some that I don't approve of, but I can understand as much as I can."
Keep it in mind
As the saying goes:
"Words too full, easy to hurt; He that has done too much is apt to repent."
The most important thing between people is "discretion".
The heart is measured, will not easily evaluate; Know how to advance and retreat, also will not wantonly hurt.
The ancients said: "All things too bad, we need to be careful."
With a sense of propriety, we can know how to advance and retreat properly and know when to stop, so that our relationship will be more stable and we can get along more harmoniously.
Hu Shi, a literary master, is famous for his popularity. Many writers often talk about "my friend Hu Shizhi".
Hu Shi is popular not only because he is brilliant, but also because he knows how to measure himself.
Hu shi's wife loved mah-jongg so much that she often played it secretly in the dormitory of the research institute against the rules.
Hu Shi repeatedly tried to dissuade him, but was ultimately unsuccessful. Hu shi and his wife moved out.
Puzzled, his friend asked:
"The dean is your student, playing mahjong is not a big deal, why do you move out?"
Hu Shi replied, "Because of this, we should be careful not to trouble others."
Getting along with people, do not cross each other's boundaries, is a kind of ability, is also the truth of life.
Such a person knows what to do and what to say.
They know that taking too much of a good thing can backfire, and that keeping it in check will make their relationship more comfortable and comfortable.
As Zhou Guoping said:
"A sense of proportion is a sign of mature love that observes the necessary distance between people in interpersonal interactions."
Really strong people, know how to grasp in the relationship, advance and retreat.
Because this is the best way to keep a relationship going for the long term.
Put yourself in someone else's shoes
Weibo once posted this message:
"We live in different worlds. You live on a big, luxurious ship with everything on board, a lifetime's supply of wine, and a lot of people who are just as lucky as you.
And I grabbed a piece of driftwood and tried to float, wave after wave beat, how can not hide, at any time in danger of drowning, but also worried about sharks passing by.
So, you ask me: 'Why not take some time to see the beautiful scenery of the sea? '"
Just a few words, say the heart of many people.
In life, some people always like to stand in their own point of view, to see others, but never think of their own position, perhaps others are out of reach.
You see the world differently in different places.
Learn to put yourself in others' shoes and see things from others' standpoint, so that you can have different answers.
Once upon a time, pigs, sheep and cows lived in the same corral.
One day, the master took the pig out. The pig struggled and shouted.
The sheep looked on with a look of disgust:
"Keep it down. I get caught a lot, too, but not as loud as you."
The cow agrees, "That's right. I didn't make so much noise when I was caught."
Then the pig barked even louder:
"They take you for your hair or your milk, and they take me to kill me."
Different races, different situations, different ways of thinking.
It is the same with animals as it is with people.
Most of the time, there is no such thing as right and wrong, because different positions, different perspectives, so have different views.
As they say in The Great Gatsby, "Before you judge others, know that many people are not in your situation."
To be a man, we must understand empathy.
Because there are so many differences in the world.
Everyone has his own way of life and principles, no one is qualified to judge the right and wrong of others, can not force others to do the same.
Napoleon said:
"To know how to put yourself in other people's shoes, to really see things from their standpoint, to think about things, and to actually help them solve their problems, the world is yours."
That's the truth.
Think often over your own faults, and you will have perfect success
Ji Xianlin, a master of Chinese culture, once said, "When others make mistakes, they often make mistakes themselves."
It came from a small conversation he had with his son.
Ji was invited to give a lecture and asked his nanny to water his beloved clivia before going out.
Unexpectedly, when he came back, he found clivia dead.
Careful inquiry just know, nurse after pouring water, look outside the window the weather is just right, specially put clivia in the sun, let it bask in the sun.
What I didn't know was that clivia hates the heat.
Ji was very sad. The nurse was at a loss as to what to do.
When Ji's son came to visit him, he wanted to say something about the nurse, but ji stopped him:
"It is not really her fault, but mine.
When others make mistakes, they often make mistakes themselves.
Do you think it's my fault that I left it to her, knowing auntie didn't know how to take care of Clivia?"
It is hard to avoid conflicts with others.
Know how to find the reason from yourself first, not only can solve the problem faster, but also a person's high culture.
A little man can do no wrong.
A truly outstanding person must know how to introspect all the time.
To know, everyone has shortcomings, with a tolerant heart to treat the people and things around, is the greatest kindness to get along with people.
Measure yourself before you measure others.
Meet people, only calm introspection, in order to know yourself more correctly.
The ancients often said, "Sit still and think about your own faults; chat and don't talk about others."
We can get along with each other for a long time by not blaming others and always looking into ourselves.
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A single thread does not make a silk.
Between people, it is important to fulfill each other and achieve each other.
Real long-term relationships aren't about just being ourselves, they're about helping each other.
When you know how to work together with others, you are one step closer to success.
Get along with others, respect the difference of others, do advance and retreat, understand self-reflection, understand empathy.
Because when you are helping others, you are helping yourself.
As we have seen, "The best relationships are based on mutual fulfillment."
For the rest of your life, face others with a perfect heart and consolidate your feelings. When you learn to fulfill others, life will naturally fulfill yourself.
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