Unconsciously, my marriage has gone through 7 years. Looking back, there is a huge crowd, it is not easy to meet with his wife, not easy to get along with, and even more difficult to stay together. Now, we have a son and a daughter, and we have a happy marriage. I dare not say whether it is a "winner in life", but I am indeed a lucky man. I want to share with you my understanding of love and marriage.
The encounter between my wife and I was purely accidental. At that time, she came to our company as a project assistant. During a business trip together, I noticed that her eyes were clear and transparent, and my heart moved suddenly. Love is strange, at that moment, you will lock a person. I asked her: "I heard you don't have a boyfriend yet?" She said no. I immediately said: "Me too!" After half a year, we entered the palace of marriage hand in hand. Remembering the sincere vows, continuing the longing for love, and looking forward to marriage, a new chapter in life begins.
In order to provide my wife with a better material life, I started the "996" work mode, going out early and returning late every day, and traveling frequently every month. Every day, the wife prepares dinner carefully, but in the end she can only finish the hot meal by herself again and again. In a person's marriage, her love for me gradually cooled down.
Many people say that marriage is the tomb of love. I don't think so. As long as they still love each other and are willing to face and solve marriage problems, then marriage will never become a tomb. However, marriage is indeed a city, and the scenery inside and outside the city is definitely different. The city wall is just the boundary between love and marriage. Outside the city is the world of love, but inside the city is the world where love and marriage coexist and marriage is dominant.
I have made a mistake that many men make: as soon as I get married, I leave love out of marriage. After realizing this, I began to re-examine the relationship between love and marriage, and balance the balance between work and family. I finally realized the fact that a happy marriage is never complete. Only by breaking the illusion of perfection can marriage truly lead to happiness.
A happy marriage emphasizes the ultimate meaning of marriage, which is to give people happiness and warmth. In this life, birth and death are both lonely, and only connecting with others is warm and happy. The most important connection with others is to fall in love with someone, fall in love with them, and enter into marriage. Therefore, marriage is the greatest invention of human society.
However, a happy marriage is not the same as perfection everywhere in the marriage. In marriage, there are all kinds of complaints, disagreements and conflicts that make people feel a bit "cold". In real marriages, there is no flawless lover, seamless relationship and perfect life. In other words, there is no perfect marriage. Real-life marriages always produce various problems: disagreements, quarrels, cold wars, money, mother-in-law relationship, parent-child relationship, affair juniors, etc. Therefore, the British dramatist and novelist Bernard Shaw said: "The real marriage is all made in heaven."
Why?
Because any marriage is composed of two independent people, there are a hundred people of all kinds. Everyone has his own personality, and has habits that seem to be quirks to others but that he loves deeply. Therefore, when two independent people stay in the same room for a long time, various problems will inevitably arise. There will always be problems in marriage. This is an inevitable phenomenon, and it is normal. American psychologist John Gottman's research concluded that marriages will always have various problems, and 69% of the differences will always exist.
Therefore, it is not terrible to have problems in marriage. The terrible thing is to deny the problem, avoid the problem, and not solve the problem. Those happy marriages to outsiders are not without problems, but husbands and wives have learned to get along with problems, to solve problems, and to manage marriages.
"Governing a big country is like cooking small fresh food." Managing marriage is also like cooking. The recipes may be the same, but the flavors and textures made by different chefs are quite different. When your mind is calm and your ideas change, your actions will change accordingly, and your marriage will also change.
Remember: a happy marriage is always in your own hands.
